


Revelations

by orphan_account



Series: Spectrum!Verse [5]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 07:33:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The chances of meeting someone committed to understanding him without any form of reservation is rare. Much less even hoping that there’s a possibility of something beyond that. Still- there are times where risks pay off and Shane is evermore glad this is one of them.





	Revelations

There’s something remarkable about how easily the Bergara household made him feel that his presence is welcome, if not, appreciated. Over the course of their friendship, Shane has gotten the privilege of getting to know the rest of Ryan’s extended family and they’ve never failed to greet him with warm familiarity each time he visits. This time is of course, no exception. Though a part of Shane wondered if they’d still treat him with the same warm hospitality if they knew. It's not a question he particularly enjoys thinking about.

He readily agrees when he’s extended an invitation to a weekend barbecue over at their house namely because A: who would turn down a good meal and B: He actually likes hanging out with Ryan. If all he has to do is be on his best behavior and stoop so that Ryan’s mom could pinch his cheeks fondly when she greets him at the door, he can deal with that.

By the time they finally arrived at the residence of Ryan's parents, they found the barbecue party already in full swing. For the next few hours, Shane is preoccupied with filling his platter with food and entertaining everyone who approached him for conversation. It's when the overall energy of the gathering eases into a peaceful lull, full of people milling about, that Shane manages to extricate himself from socialising.

At Ryan's beckoning, he surreptitiously follows his lead, managing to weave his way through the crowd with relative ease. They ventured out onto the patio, cool night air rushing to embrace them the moment Ryan opened the sliding door, and something in Shane settles with a content sigh as he makes himself comfortable in one of the seats, stretching his limbs out.

"Man, I forgot how into it your family gets when it comes to these things for one hot minute there."

His remark is met with an amused snort from his companion as he settles into the seat next to Shane, holding a bottle of beer out towards Shane.

"Never let it be said that the Bergaras don't know how to fuckin party."  

"Mhm." He snags the neck of the bottle with his fingers and takes advantage of the pause to take a swig appreciatively, allowing the familiar wash of warmth alcohol brings to wash over him. Though the foundation of their friendship had been built through bantering that's been known to go on for far too long, there were little moments like this interspersed into it too. And Shane grows to appreciate them as much as he does everything else.

He stays in silence with Ryan for an undetermined length of time, content to lose himself in watching the stars and taking liberal sips out of his own bottle of beer. If this had been someone else, he would probably already have been itching to say something else, compelled to break things up with anything so as to ease the awkwardness. But there's nothing awkward about this. He doesn't have to rattle off topics from the top of his head or feel like he has to occupy Ryan's time somehow. This...it's nice.

The only snag in this whole deal keeping Shane from completely relaxing would be the fact that he couldn't help but notice Ryan fidgeting with his own bottle of beer. Without even having to clarify, Shane knows that it's a given sign that his friend is deep in thought. Leave him alone and he might even start talking to himself again. Still, as tempting as it was to point it out, Shane waits. If it's anything pressing, there's no doubt Ryan would speak up about it when he's ready.

And he does. In that slightly rushed 'gotta get it out quick' way he does when he's about to broach a sensitive subject.

"Shane. Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Laughter spills from him when Ryan fixes him with an incredulous look and rolls his eyes. "Hey don't blame it on me- you walked into that one yourself. But...go for it. Shoot."

"Right. You know what? Whatever...So- this is probably going to make me sound like an ass but I've been thinking about, you know, the time when you told me all that stuff in the car."

Against his own volition, Shane could feel his own brows raising. Where's Ryan going with that? He takes a quiet inhale, more so to quell instinctive defensiveness and keeps his tone light. Diplomatic. No point scaring the little guy off the subject. Then again, Ryan's never really truly daunted by something enough to avoid it completely so it'd only be counterproductive to even try. Shane made a promise not to....deliberately play his cards. Not on him. And he intends to keep that promise.   
  
"Well. It's not exactly a conversation that's easily forgotten. What about it?"

The gentle prompting seems to work because Ryan gets that expression on his face again and he speaks instead of dismissing it.

"Back then. You mentioned that you get impulses. And you also said that you don't always know the right thing to do or say. Which leads me to wonder- how do you...uh...how do you figure it out?"

"I don't, Ryan. That's the whole point. No really." With some semblance of reluctance, Shane sets his own bottle of beer down. If they were really going to be having this talk, he'd at least want to be sober enough to remember what he said.  "I may seem like I do but I really don't. Most of what I know to do or say comes from visual cues like shows, things I pick up from people in public and stuff like that."  _I pick things up from you._

"What, so you just choose whatever you know, toss it out and hope for the best?"

The mood of the conversation is somewhat shattered when they both simultaneously cracked up at Ryan's choice of wording.

Shane has to make an effort to stifle his amusement before he could carry on.   
"Not the way I'd phrase it but that's basically what it is. I...don't like not knowing, so I pay attention to the little details people miss. If you pay attention to the details, sometimes you get what people want you to say or do. Say...if a man my height approached you out of nowhere asking for directions in the middle of an empty parking lot at 3 AM in the morning, you'd be more than a bit spooked. But if I were to you know, stand a bit further away...maybe stumble over my steps a little and shit like that, you'd be like- Oh it's just another drunk dude, he's fine. I can take him if something goes wrong. It's the same thing for everyday conversation. I just...study people."

Now it's apparently his companion's turn to raise his brows.

"Wait. So this whole time your dissociation bits-"  
  
"No, those were silly goofs. Thought I'd throw them in there to you know, spice things up."

"...Okay that's fair.  But...you study people."

"Yeah. You know the whole-" Shane breaks off to allow his expression to slacken, solely focusing on Ryan with his gaze for a period of time. "The whole staring deal that's always seen in those sensationalised shows. That's mostly just my trying to figure shit out face. Most of the time I'm sizing people up and measuring their reactions. Thinking about how they're most likely to react if I said did or said one thing compared to another. I'm told it comes off as creepy so I try not to do it that often. Unless you count the times I'm trying to give someone a right spook."

By the time Shane finishes his explanations, Ryan's nodding with the air of a man trying to process things with another question lined up at the same time. To his credit, he does well in filing Shane's closely guarded tidbit away before he continues on.

"But what about the whole impulse thing? I mean I know you're probably experienced enough to know what not to do and what to ignore. But...how did you go about identifying, you know what I mean? I'm sure that not all of your impulses are as...clear?"

Trust him to come up with questions that leave Shane feeling both exposed and alarmed at the same time.

"Someone's been doing their research."

His instinct to distract and retreat is somewhat mollified by the flash of alarm and guilt on Ryan's features.

"No what- shit, sorry. I didn't mean to like treat you as a- I just wanted to understand you better. I wanted to know what you're dealing with-"   
  
"I know, I know. It's fine, Ryan." A quick squeeze to Ryan's wrist has tension bleeding out from him, though he still looks unsure. Right. That was a bad move. At the very least, Shane's successful in getting him to calm down though. He's going to have to do better next time.

"It was a bumpy patch. I had to learn the hard way but I think that's how it is for most people too." Shane releases his companion's wrist once he's certain that Ryan is more settled. "I think a lot of people, myself included, have trouble accepting what they don't understand. Because it's a part of how our brains are wired- we  _want_  things to make sense. I had to learn to look for ah..supporting evidence since what doesn't necessarily make sense to  _me_ , makes sense to others and it's only frustrating if I try to force myself to see in a perspective I don't have. I had to figure out how to acknowledge it, respect it and focus on compromises."

The ends of his lips curved up into a wry smile when he continued on, shoulders rolling in a shrug.

"Not for the lack of wishing that I could relate without doing all that though. But if you're talking about morals, I'd say that I have...rules instead because we both know my 'morals' are questionable at best."

That earned a short bark of laughter from Ryan. Better.

"Rules?"

"Yeah. I do the things I have to do to adapt and some of the things I do, aren't the prettiest even if they are necessary. I just...have rules I remember to keep me from forgetting why I do certain things. And why I don't. I try.  For myself."

Admittedly it took a little effort to meet Ryan's open gaze again.

"For certain people."  _For you._

If his eyes tracked the way Ryan swallows when comprehension sets in, that's only for Shane to know.

Expressions flicker on Ryan's features before he appears to finally settle on one.   
"Whoa. That's a lot to unpack."

Shane finds stability in the heat of his palm when Ryan reaches out to clasp at his bicep and squeeze.  
  
"Thanks. Sorry I made you tell me all of that."

"Please. If I hadn't wanted to tell you, I wouldn't have done so." After a brief moment of hesitation, Shane places his own hand atop of Ryan's, patting lightly.

"Right. So now that I've been put through the wringer, it's your turn to be in the hot seat. I have a few questions for you too, Inspector."

"Oh God." Warmth blossoms in his chest, not unpleasantly so, when Ryan makes a show of rolling his eyes at him again. For added effect, he shifts to the edge of his seat so that he was as close to Ryan as he was going to get and squints comically. Shane doesn't really have anything in mind, but it was entertaining to watch Ryan rile himself up before he declares the truth and gets another one of Shane's favourite laughs out of him.

Before he could execute his plan however, the sliding door leading to the patio opened and out peeked the head of Mrs Bergara who promptly lights up at the sight of them both. She offers Shane a wave, in which he returns. Then she turns to Ryan and offers him a not so subtle thumbs up, to which his friend makes a show of collapsing in a dramatic groan and makes a face back in return.

To his credit, Shane has the decency to wait til Ryan's mom closes the door and leaves before he gets on Ryan's case about it.   
  
"What was  _that_  about?"

The background lights of the patio weren't as strong as they ought to be but Shane thinks he could make out the starts of a blush from his companion. Finally, he gets his answer even when it's accompanied with flustered gesturing.

"She apparently thinks that we- that I have a- she thinks we have a  _thing_  going on, okay?"

"Is that why I keep getting invited to your 'family only' barbecues?"

It's a miracle that Ryan didn't give himself whiplash when he looks up from his hands to stare at Shane in disbelief, mouth slightly open to gape.

"You knew about  _THAT_?"

"Told you I notice things." Shane's openly grinning now. "You aren't slick, Mr 'I'm so subtle' Bergara. Besides it's hard not to notice when you don't invite anyone else along and the only strangers that are present were the significant others of your cousins."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know, Ryan. Why don't you practise what you preach and just ask me out instead of dancing around the subject for months?"

"....You little shit."

Shane really has to laugh now when Ryan moves to give him a playful shove and succeeds in pitching him and his chair off balance to which two things happened: He falls backwards and Ryan reaches out in surprise, attempting to catch him, only to be pulled along with him when Shane pulls him forward. Sure he gets the wind knocked out of him when he lands and bears majority of Ryan's weight on top of him. But his fall is cushioned by the lawn grass and for the first time in a while, Shane feels lighter. Whole.

He feels Ryan's shoulders shake before he's sprawling properly on Shane and joins him in losing his shit at the ridiculous and frankly out of place turn of events. They laugh until they run out of air but Ryan doesn't move away or leave. Instead, his companion stayed right where he was. Looking. At him. The open affection in his eyes has Shane's laughter finally dying.

"I didn't think that I had the option to do so." Ryan's admission is soft when he replies. "And maybe I meant what I said when I told you that you were important to me too. Maybe I didn't want to fuck whatever it is we have up without-"

"Ryan." Honestly. This man. Shane shifts so that he could cup his companion's cheeks. "Didn't we promise we were going to tell each other what we need when we have to? _I_  meant what I said too. You worry too much."

They've already come so far since then. So why stop now, really?

"Can I try something?"

"I...Yeah. You can."

It's not perfect, considering how Shane has to crane his head forward to do so but Ryan meets him in the middle, allowing him to guide him closer so that Shane could press their lips together in a kiss- tentative, awkward, unbelievably chaste but it curls sweetly in his insides nonetheless.

"Was that okay?"  
  
"Hm. I don't know. Might have to do that again a couple more times."

He gets a laugh in before Ryan covers his lips with his own once more.

When they finally return back to the living room to help clean up the aftermath of the party, Ryan's mom does not take long to notice the wet grass stains on their clothes and their suspiciously pink lips. Shane spots the exact moment comprehension dawns on her because she's beaming at him like he's personally responsible for lining the stars in the night sky before they were both roped back into the cleanup process.

"I heard that it might start storming in a bit. Would you be cool with staying the night?"  
  
"Would you be cool with staying forever?"

Shane doubles over, wheezing with laughter at Ryan's expression and his mom's smug look. Oh he could  _definitely_  get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned this is an AU verse where Shane is on the AS/PD spectrum. It’s written as a means to cope with the things I struggle with. 
> 
> You can let me know what you think of it in the comments or over here at my [blog](https://spoopybruh.tumblr.com/)


End file.
